Bikini Bottoms and Shotguns

The Olympics have finally arrived!

What an amazing gathering and display of world human talent and character! The competitive spirit and logistical management of people from over 200 countries is truly the exhibition of homosapiens performing at our best. (Well, save the opening ceremonies… James Bond excluded of course from that comment). This is the complete opposite state of the same group of homosapiens at our worst, or as we like to acquiesce, the reality of what is, the U.N.

Watching the games is always incredibly enriching. After only a few days, I am faster, stronger, higher… well, okay, I am none of those things, but I AM smarter about some aspects of the Olympics.

Let’s play, ‘Things I Knew and Did Not Know About The Olympics’….Part One.

·         I did not know…There is apparently a rule in volleyball, beach or team play, which requires a zealous display of excessive fondness for your teammates after each point scored. This occurs whether or not you succeed or lose the point.  High-fives, hugs, kisses, butt-slaps, it is a sport for lovers!

·         I did not know…If you are of Indian decent, it apparently qualifies you to walk with Team India in the opening ceremonies.

·         I did not know…There is a country named Tonga.

·         I did not know…There is a country named Micronesia (You may not have heard of it, it is quite small). Ha! Sorry, had to do it!

·         I did not know…That the United States has a gold medal winner who looks about my age who can shoot the hell out of little clay Frisbees.

·         I did not know…that I am almost best friends with gymnast Jordyn Wieber. She is the second cousin of my son’s best friends’ father’s cousin.

·         I probably did know…That based on the physique of most of the women I have seen competing thus far,  the ladies do not spend numerous evenings gorging on packages of dual-wrapped Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. (Not that I actually know anyone who does that …)(Insert nervous laugh here).

·         My kids did not know…That water polo is a sport. No high school water polo teams here in Northern Michigan, too dang cold, no outdoor pools. The kids have missed that fact that the idea of the game is to throw the ball into the net and have decided to throw volleyballs at each other’s head while swimming in the lake quite regularly.  Nothing can go wrong there.

·         I do not understand…Why we can send men to the moon, but we are unable to invent a leotard, bathing suit, or beach volleyball panty (g-string really) that does not ride up on the athlete. Thus, the extreme yanking.

·         I do know…When China takes over the world; we are all going to be freakishly good at gymnastics and synchronized diving.

·         I do know…When China takes over the world; we are going to have consistently fantastic opening ceremonies at the Olympics. Not now, just when China takes over the world….although I give Kudos to the Queen on her incredibly awesome sense of humor.

Take Care! Go Red, White, and Blue!!! (For now…)