Cool Mom Blues

When I was a kid, my mother had this friend who was super cool.

I thought she was way cooler than my mom. My mom had no idea about the latest music, latest clothes, who was who in pop culture etc….(I mean gosh mom how can you NOT know all the words to “Kiss Is On My List” by Hall & Oates, the BEST song EVER!!!) My mom worked forty plus hours a week, drove us kids everywhere every stinking day, and cleaned, cooked…..you know, all the fun stuff. Having no appreciation, as most kids do not, for all the hard mom work, I swore an oath way back then that I would make certain that I was a super cool mom whenever I had kids in the future.

Move ahead in time thirty years….I am now the mother of three children. I have decided to do an inventory to see if I have turned into the “super cool mom” I was destined to become.

Cool Mom Checklist:

• Cool moms would possess a tattoo of some sort, somewhere on their person. Preferably something cool written in a foreign language that they do not speak, nor understand, save for that prolific statement written on their thigh. 

Sadly, I fall short of this requirement. I do have a scar on my calf from burning my leg while trying to look cool on a motorcycle. Does that count? I give myself a NO on that one.

• Cool moms would know the latest top 40 hits by heart and be able to sing along with the children at least two paragraphs of the latest funky rap.

I have not been ‘funky’ since that case of athletes foot back in ’01. Also, apparently no one uses the word ‘funky’ anymore.

• Cool Moms dress in the latest fashions challenging Heidi Klum and those Kardashian girls as fashion icons.

 NOPE. Just NOPE. Let’s move on.

• Cool moms bake.

I burn….thus that would be a NO.

• Cool moms let their kids do “fun stuff”. According to my sons, that includes many activities that require varying degrees of absolute danger. Climbing, hanging, jumping on, off and over things with motorized vehicles, using multiple types of firearms and weaponry, preferably with or against a brother….are all examples of “fun stuff”.

Thus, on this one I again earn a whopping “NOT COOL”

• Cool Moms would be on Pinterest and actually have made something or bought something that they have pinned to the “For The Children” Board.

That would be a no. Do not even have a “For The Children” Board. It is all about me.

 

Turns out, I am just like my mom, working hard, driving kids around in my sweat shirt that has a pizza stain on the arm. (Okay, she never had the pizza stain, I have added that). There may be hope for me as I am mentored by many really cool moms that meet some of the requirements above.

But for now, I am so glad to just be me, as un-cool as I am…thanks Mom!!!