The Wonder of Wal-Mart

I am a wonderer of wonderments.

There are many things that I wonder about on a daily basis. From morning until night, curiosities and marvels cross my path. For example, I wonder how it can possibly be that I always owe at least ten dollars in late fees on my movie rental account at the Family Video? I pay on that ten dollar late fee every time I go in that place, and yet, the late fees never decrease…fascinating.

 I also wonder why in the world our creator decided to deplete the estrogen levels in women over 40. What is that cruel joke about? Is that a Garden of Eden thing? Is God still ticked off about the snake and the apple? I thought giving birth to bowling bowls was payback enough, yet here we are saddled with night sweats and an extra fifteen pounds that can only be removed with the aid of a licensed physician and surgical equipment. He is still ticked.

I wonder how in the world I am capable of watching the movie Pride and Prejudice fifty-seven times. How is it possible that a mind see a thing over and over again, and yet, I know without a doubt that if the dang movie is on the Oxygen channel tomorrow, I will watch it yet again, fifty-eight times and counting?

Nothing stirs the pondering in my brain more than a venture to the local Wal-Mart. You know, the store that you claim you never visit, yet I see you there on a bi-weekly basis…no worries, I won’t tell.  Our local Wal-Mart is a fine store, we know the manager, a great guy who really loves his job and has great employees. BUT! (You knew there was a ‘but’ coming) it is a looney-tune crazy kind of establishment. It doesn’t matter if you hit the Wal-Mart in Gaylord or Chicago…the crazy is consistent.

I wonder if Sam Walton had any idea what his retail creation would become since opening that first official Wal-Mart in 1962. I wonder if he knew how much stinking money his kids and grandkids would have today. I mean, those Walton kids are so rich; they send Mitt Romney cash in his birthday card.

I am curious as to why, whenever a child under the age of seven enters a Wal-Mart, he or she has an insurmountable urge to emotionally implode. You can travel in every aisle in any Wal-Mart and witness exasperated parents and a toddler in the middle of an epic meltdown.

Why is it that any conversation you may have with friends and neighbors that you happen to ‘non-run into’ at the Wal-Mart, is open for all who may be walking by to join into the dialogue? You may be having the most personal of conversations, and any yahoo walking past will feel the need to weigh in.

                Marie: “Yes Kari, I just had to put my ninety-year old mother into a nursing home, it was very difficult”

                Yahoo: “Oh my kids tried to put me in a nursing home…told those little b-&*7! they would not get one dime from the trailer if they even thought about it!”

                Marie: “Thank-you for that…will keep it in mind”

I suppose that there are no answers to such deep and important questions…it is not for us to ponder, it is simply for us to go and retrieve our ‘rollback’ prices.