Someday, This Will Be Hysterical

What a mess.

I had an ‘incident’ happen this past weekend that I am certain will become comical, and something I will most likely blog about in the future, but currently, at this writing, is not so much, really not all, funny. (Let’s just say it involves a turtle, root beer, a fluffy dog, small explosions, and new carpeting) While meditating to calm down, the situation caused my mind to embark on the remembrance of different 'happenings' in my life that were not funny at the time, but are fodder for hilarity in present time. We all have these situations deeply embedded in the psyche of our brains formed as distant memories. To enjoy them now, we simply need to channel our inner therapist, or in my case, the one I have on speed dial, to pull these recollections out for enjoyment. (In some cases, my therapist refers to this process as ‘closure’.)

So as the situation warrants, I have a list….

1. My grandmother giving me giant pink cotton undies for a Christmas gift in front of my entire family and high school boyfriend.

2. Almost being drowned by a portly gentleman floating over me in an inner tube at the water park when I was twelve.

3. My sister ‘loaning’ my father’s car to a friend (who did not have a driver’s license) and my dad coming home early.

4. My parents coming home early on multiple occasions when we were young. (Really deserves its own spot on the list)

5. My girlfriend finding loose change in her mashed potatoes while she had dinner at my house one Saturday night.

6. My mother telling my father that I would “so float away’ if he let me play in the canoe…and then me floating away when he did.

7. My four year old blowing up the diaper of my two year old with a bicycle pump and pushing him into the deep end to see how far he would drift.

8. My husband gnawing on my arm while watching the movie “Alive” just to annoy me and the people behind us in the theatre.

9. My bachelorette party thrown for me by my thirty-seven GM-UAW line workers on the night shift. (What an array of paraphernalia that party produced! I lent my son the handcuffs for his prison costume last year…..yes; I kept a few items, DON’T JUDGE ME!)

10. What happened last weekend with the turtle, root beer, fluffy dog, explosions, and new carpeting….well, not yet, I may give it a few years…